It has been some time since I last posted on my website. At first I felt guilty that I hadn’t been keeping my site updated with lots of positive posts and inspiration to help keep everyone uplifted – but I know that guilt is not healthy, and was simply keeping me stuck where I was… in a pretty bad place emotionally and physically. It took me some time before I was actually able to admit to my ‘self’ that I WAS NOT OK! You know what it’s like when your friends and family are concerned about you, and you hear yourself constantly saying “I’m FINE!” when they ask how you are. Well, that was me for quite some time. I think it was because I felt the need to stay strong and focused on my one main priority at that time, and to admit that I wasn’t OK would mean that I would appear weak, at a time when I needed to be at my strongest. But that was most definitely not the case.
I’m now feeling able to stand up and admit that the past few years have been pretty tough for me, as I devoted all of my heart and soul to taking care of my son, who was (and still is) struggling with his mental health. My work had to slip into second place, as I took care of my boy. Lock Down came right in the middle of all this, and it was almost as though the Universe was giving me the time and space to be with my son and to allow me to give him all of my attention. Thank You Universe! (Although I would never wish another Lock Down, it’s important to always find the positive in every situation).
I believe that as a Healer, and someone who spends their life helping others, it’s very easy to forget to look after and heal your ‘self’. We tend not to prioritise our own healing over others. So it’s almost inevitable that at some point you will simply run out of energy, and that’s when your body starts to shout at you, and tell you to stop and LOOK AFTER YOU!
I’m happy to say that I listened to my body, and became so much more self-aware. Some people would call it ‘selfish’, but I truly believe it’s more about awareness of ‘self’ – starting to put your own needs and desires first – free from guilt. And I’m happy to admit that it was OK to NOT be OK. It didn’t make me any less of a person or Healer – those were just stories my head had created – but they weren’t true… far from it!
So I’m pleased to say that I now take time out of my diary every week JUST FOR ME! And that’s OK! In fact, it’s truly amazing. I still get to be with my son, and to also help so many beautiful souls on their healing journeys through my Reiki and Life Guidance, but I now also get to spend time with ME! And I am loving every moment.
Please remember that it’s OK to NOT be OK – showing your vulnerability isn’t a weakness, it’s a strength. We are all human. It doesn’t make us less of a person. Opening-up and talking about your thoughts, feelings and emotions is so empowering. And most importantly, it gives others the opportunity to step forward and help you – something they may have been wanting to do for some time, but are constantly pushed away because you think you need to always be the strong one, so that you can help others, and not appear weak!
So please try to be more SELF-AWARE and take time to focus on YOU! Give yourself the gift of time … share your worries, concerns and feelings … and start to let go of the heaviness inside, and get back to being your true authentic self. It’s a great place to be. x